Yeah, that sounds like a crap situation. Have you tried talking to everyone involved about your frustrations, and seeing if things can change?
"The primaries don't need to check with the secondaries about anything but as secondaries, we can't go catch a freaking movie without clearing it with 3 people and possibly ending up having to take some of them along because they'd LOVE to go too."
All of my relationships are secondary relationships and I go to the movies whenever I please, with whomever I like, without clearing it with anyone except myself. My partners are responsible for managing their own schedules. If they're free, great. If not, I find someone else to do things with, or I do my own thing. We fit time in where we can, there are no set schedules. The two of them that have busier lives share their google calendars with me, and I share mine with them, to make it easier for us to figure out when the other might be available. My married gf and I are going to do an overnight trip out of town as soon as she's comfortable spending a night away from her toddler.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 05-21-2013 at 03:43 AM.