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Old 05-20-2013, 05:32 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,896

I get the impression that what BG was referring to as "pulling wacky shit" is your husband trying to be different people to you - rather than his authentic self. It seems as though he is not enough for you "as himself" and is trying to keep you to himself by attempting to BE the multiple loves you have had in the past. I don't know that that is viable in the long term... Sounds like he needs some reassurance that you love him for HIMSELF and that loving other people never meant that there was anything wrong with HIM.

As to whether you are still poly or not? That depends on how you relate to being poly. Some people view it as a sort of orientation like sexual identity - like being "bisexual" even if you are currently in a M/F relationship. Others view it as a relationship choice/configuration (i.e. the "poly" describes the relationship not the person). Personally, I think that if you know that you have the capacity to love more than one at the same time - then you can claim the "poly" label if it suits you, even if you never act on it again.

Just my two cents.

JaneQ(Me): poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (25+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (7+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic hetero girlfriend and BFF
MrClean: hetero mono male, almost lover-friend to me, ex-FWBs to SLeW, friends with MrS
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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