05-20-2013, 04:18 AM
Join Date: Apr 2010
Been a long time
It's been forever since I've been on these forums, so I do not know how active it is.
I want to ask a semi stupid question. I've been in a poly relationship 3 times, all three times ended badly. My guy wasn't the problem, it was always the other partner (male or female) that kept bringing up "either me or him" or "either me or her". I pretty much always had to choose between the two and it pissed me off.
My guy is straight and he is mono all the way, I'm the one that's bisexual and poly all the way. I dated my guy first so he was always first in my heart (he saved my life literally), I've always felt lucky that my guy would be willing to share me with others and keep an open mind.
However, for some stupid reason and for three times, I ended up with partners that made me choose between them! I even set up the ground rules in the beginning:
* Don't try to make me choose, you will lose. Doesn't matter who you are.
* Do realize that because I've been with my guy the longest, I'm kind of biased on how I feel towards you. With time, the bias will fade hopefully.
* If you are over-seas or out-of-state and you seriously want to be with me, do realize that naturally since I am around my guy alot, I won't spend every waking moment with you but I'll try my best to spend equal amount of time with you.
* Respect my need for space and I'll respect yours.
* You have to be serious, I don't fool around. So that means no summer flings, no agreeing to date me because you just want to pass the time, and no treating me like crap.
* Respect my guy. You don't HAVE to like him or love him if you do not want to, but please respect the fact that he's going to be part of your life too.
These were my ground rules and all of them agreed to it. In the end it didn't matter because all of them pulled the "me or him" or "me or her" card T___T
After the last boyfriend broke up with me abruptly and I became depressed for three weeks over that. We decided enough was enough. My guy was seriously pissed off at the last guy, I kinda liked the fact that he was willing to hunt the jerk boyfriend down and kill him for hurting me xD
We closed our relationship, became exclusive to each other only and got married. We're still married and I couldn't be happier. My husband tries to be a different person almost every day, so I wouldn't feel the need to date another. I don't remember the exact words but he said something like:
"I want to be the only one for you. If that means for me to be different so that you wouldn't need to date another man/woman, so be it".
Basically, he's wearing multiple hats at once. There are times when he's the same old guy I fell in love with, and then there are times where he completely catches me off guard and I'm like, "who is he?". I'm perfectly fine with this set up and I try to be random too so he wouldn't miss anything either
My question is: If you're in a close relationship currently and may or may not have plans to open your relationship in the future, are you still considered poly?
True Love is neither physical, nor romantic.
True Love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be and will not be.