Originally Posted by MrMom
From what I've seen, they are in love with each other, and she wants to carry on this relationship via an open marriage. I might be ok with us involving others in our sex life, but I don't think I'm OK with her having a separate life-partner where if I was out of the picture they'd probably end up getting married and having a monogamous life.
Is this a normal reaction on my behalf? Are there different levels of open marriage, as set by the rules that I keep reading must be set? What if either my wife or I don't like the third person?
Is it normal ? ABSOLUTELY ! It's the culture we are raised in. Prior to this - did you have any real understanding of the concept of 'polyamory' ? Probably not.
Do YOU love HER ???????
REALLY love her ?
If you answer 'yes' - then the next logical question would be "how can (or should) I deny her something that is positive in her life and does no harm to anyone else (other than maybe my own ego) ? Is that an expression of love ? This of course assumes that any 3rd (or more) person is in fact a decent, clean, trustworthy etc person.
Sorry if that seems blunt but that's the question I had to ask myself some looonnnnggggggggg time back.