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Old 05-18-2013, 07:12 PM
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Malfunktions Malfunktions is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NB, Canada
Posts: 203
Default I really need a haircut

Oh! I forgot to tell you about my fun/funny Friday night. Last week we went out with some friends. They know who we are and are comfortable with how we act in public ha ha ha.

So, setting the stage. We're at the club. Girls in clothing too small for them and guys in clothing too big for them everywhere. There was copious amounts of gyrating hips, meshed with the tangles of sweaty hands, and a sexual tension so thick that you'd need a really sharp samurai sword to cut it. Ugh, I don't even know why I feed off it like I do, cause writing about it reminds me of how turned off I SHOULD have been. Awe, who am I kidding? Who cares!?

After a few drinks I dared C that he couldn't get a girl to make out with him. 5$ if he did.

Later, I came off the dance floor in a not so subtle manner, and slammed right into the man I encountered while having tea that afternoon.

Hop in my time machine and we'll back it up a few hours.

***beep****boop**** clang*** shhhhhhh(air brakes, I just like the sound)

Alright, so having coffee with Mom when she notices a very steamy, heart throb of a man. Who is obviously looking for a romp.

"I'll take -Out-of-Towner- for 500$, Pat"

First of all, she never gets hit on cause of who's she's married to.
No one wants to fuck with THAT cantankerous Indian. And I mean of the dancing round the fire chanting "Hi, how are ya" persuasion. (He's really just a big teddy bear who has got me out of so much trouble it's not even funny. Or maybe he's just wrapped around my finger, little girls do that to a man, I guess.)

To be truthful, he wasn't flirting with her. He was flirting with me. My mom doesn't know about my Polyness(word?) and so she never would have imagined her little girls eyes wandered to another man besides her boyfriend and father to her two children. Needless to say, she assumed it was her. That was a 'chuckling under my breath while hiding my face with coffee mug not to give myself away' moment if I ever saw one. She was wild with excitement. Made her feel good. She deserves all the looks she needs. I sat patiently, placating her fantasy.
I'm also not to go for another man. It was one of those guidelines I foolishly agreed to upon starting this journey. So, when he placed his phone number written on a napkin on our table she was floored.
I looked up at him, subtly shook my head so she wouldn't notice and he nonchalantly walked off. Never to hear from again, I hoped.

Not the case.

****boop*** beeps*****shhhhhhh( again, that awful satisfying air brake)

Man, he was more toned that he looked at coffee. Or was that hormones. He was certainly a lot closer. I mean too close. Where was C. Does he see me? I should back up. Do I have to?

Talk about your inner turmoils. I stepped back.

Babbled something in a language neither one of us understood and shuffled away. He followed.
Being polite, I conversed with him on the off chance I might see someone I know walk by and could hitch a ride on the save- me express. Eventually, someone did come to my rescue.
(Insert overly dramatic sigh of relief)
I turn the corner and notice C on the deck with our friends while they smoked.

He turned seen me and busted out laughing.
I was instantly self conscious. I smoothed down my dress, my hair, my face. Tone down the horrified look. You're innocent remember.

He started to close the distance, which it felt like took forever, and kept laughing. I was getting mad. When he finally stopped in front of me he said
"I'll just accept my losses now and give you the 5$ bucks cause watching you try to evade that guy was worth it."
He seen the whole thing. He said I could not have looked more uncomfortable.

So at least , when I know I shouldn't be doing something I look like I know I shouldn't be doing it. Guilty might as well be my name.

Guilty- that's my name, don't wear it out.
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Me: bi, reformed wild-child turned mom and house maid LOL
Crux: straight/hypersexual, possibly mono?
BC: our son, 5 years
CM: second son 9 months.
Mouse: girlfriend! Status new, feelings not so much.
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