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Old 05-18-2013, 02:13 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by zombiecupcake View Post
. . . He said he understands, as he puts it, my longing for another companion, and if its truly something that I want then he would like to look further into it and possibly explore the option. He said he isnt sure how he feels about having a companion of his own, but he feels at least us talking about it and considering it will help him possibly get past his fears.

He did say that he struggles so much because hes always felt he "married up" and that I was way out of his league and all of his guy friends have always made that comment when they have met me. He says he feels Im going to meet some other man that is better looking then him or drives a better car and has a better job, and im going to leave him and the life we have together.
It is wonderful that he is letting you see how insecure he is deep down, and taking such a risk to be that vulnerable with you. Be sure to acknowledge him for that. He sounds like a good, thoughtful man who is willing to look at what makes him tick. Even if you stay monogamous, the communication about this stuff and all the deeper feelings it dredges up, is going to benefit you both so much! Good job at letting him know he is safe to talk about these difficult feelings with you.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
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