Well, it's been a little while. Quite frankly, I haven't been in the mood to post any updates for over a month or so. Things are looking up, though!
It's been a roller coaster ride for the last 6 weeks or so. After finally having restrictions lifted on our relationship, starting with a wonderful trip to the coast, thing were starting to settle into a nice groove.
Unfortunately, they didn't seem to be for J's bf. He was experiencing serious jealousy, which he said was a very new experience for him. They were actually on the verge of breaking up, and really struggling. I was having a REALLY hard time with his attitude and actions, and found myself going places that I had never wanted to go (i.e. wishing they would just end it . . .) We finally arranged a time to sit down and discuss things, and figure out how we could give them the freedom to work on the issues in their relationship without completely destroying the wonderful relationship that we were having.
So, we met on a Monday afternoon. For about 11 hours. O.M.F.G. Such a long meeting, with many good and not so good things coming from it. Ultimately, we ended up with a 2-week 'monogamy vacation' for them to work on their issues, followed by a 'trial date' to see if he could handle the time, with the option of more time apart if necessary. Since they were both going to be out of town (separately) through Christmas for about 10 days, we decided to have the two weeks start on Jan 1. The big thing for me is that he agreed that if this time was to work on their relationship, he shouldn't be seeing his other girlfriend during this time either. Yes, seems like a no brainer, but that's another issue.
So, fast forward through a very long few weeks. We had our first 'trial' date on Monday. We only had 5 hours, their house is off limits, and no 'naked time'. I understand, and quite frankly at this point I'm willing to work with it if it gets us back to a natural relationship status sooner and helps to preserve something important to her. We went to a movie, and sat and talked for a long time. Very nice time of reconnection, and felt so good to actually see her again. She was feeling pretty confident that we'd be able to go back to regular lunch dates on our Monday date days, without the need for additional 2 week breaks.
On Tuesday I hear from her that her bf is feeling really comfortable with our relationship, and we're going to step things up a bit and have 10 hours next Monday. The house is still off-limits, but they are apparently discussing the other limitations.
While this is not how I had envisioned this relationship evolving, I'm fairly pleased with the progress I've seen from him, and the change is perspective he seems to be showing in this process. I'm getting more hopeful, and am willing to give him the chance to feel out the issues he's having in steps. Seeing this kind of progress much faster than I had anticipated helps a lot, too.
I'll try to bring more info as I have it.
And, as I've been known to say recently: "Relationships are hard . . ."