Ouch-so hard when we don't feel like the one we thought we were (your comment of not feeling like lilo anymore).
I remember feeling that way. It hurts.
The bike thing, that IS HUGE! I saw him post pics of you preparing to go for a ride.
Have you let yourself really ponder how significant the changes within him to decide to ride double with you?
I know-so much pain and hurt and frustration can be overwhelming and take over.
Let yourself revel in the little gifts-like prepping the bike for dbl riding.
It is hard to reach out when we are hurting! Even if we know we need support, we don't feel like we can ask for it. Sigh.
I have no great words of advice-but I'm still sending positive thoughts in your direction and lots of hugs too.