Originally Posted by torontopolyguy
Thanks all. Appreciate the time!
I'm trying to avoid OKC as it leaves 'proof' of being poly/open, and we're trying to stay discreet. I've had luck on there in the past when I was single, though, so I may have to re-open that conversation.
As for sexual repression: i grew up in a 'All men want is sex. they're such pigs' environment. That, followed up by two relationships in my formative years where girls would control my sexuality, led to me not being connected to my sexual side. Example: gf found out i watched porn, and tried to commit suicide.
I absolutely do need to work on accepting my sexuality. No idea how, really, but I'm trying.
I'm 34, btw, and of slightly above attractiveness. I'm definitely more 'handsome' than 'sexy' and I tend to keep my conversations PG with almost everyone i meet, to avoid creeping people out. (see? repressed).
Lots to work on i think...
Sorry to hear about your former gf... but, there is/was something more going on with your gf than just catching you watching porn in order for her to try suicide. You should not internalize that or dwell on it and definitely understand that you were not the cause of her attempt.
You certainly can find a way to be discreet even on OKC.
There are women out there, just keep trying. I know it can be discouraging at times, but keep your chin up. Women are less attracted to a defeatist attitude than a man with a lot of self confidence.
Also like the others have suggested... try a hobby, go running, dancing, a college class, get out and meet friends first. Your more likely to have success by organically growing a relationship than finding one out of the blue on a dating site..