Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
Ironically-part of why I DIDN'T tell him the "whole truth" much of the time, was because of that exact thing-when I told him that it hurt and upset him. .
Mono has a friend that is experiencing the demise of his marriage because he doesn't want to tell his wife that if they don't work out their sexual relationship he will be driven to go out and find someone else to have sex with. He doesn't want to hurt her by telling her that.
My point to him is that he has a choice of how the shit will hit the fan.... She is going to lose her mind... he can either have integrity or not. He can tell her that he needs a change or he can cheat and tell her that he did so because he wasn't strong enough to tell her his feelings and that he needed a change. What is to his advantage is that he has a choice and he has some time. Some positive in a crappy situation.
Just as an aside, they have a one year old and she is saying none of her friends are having sex with their husbands (sorry, it's a very mainstream middle of the road, vanilla, straight story). This is a common story it seems of young parents. He/they are not poly he says btw. I think he would be laughed at if he told her what poly is even... he definitley sees it as getting to fuck lots of women and that they could just have him. No other relationships.
Okay, what to tell him? What can be told to this guy that will make him think with his brain rather than his dick? (more brainstorming?)