Thanks to all three of you for your comments. I am glad others get something from it as well, and that it is not considered taboo.
But it does makes sense that it is not for everyone. I do feel that us talking about it also keeps communication very open, which we do a lot of, but I also want them (my wife and her bf) to be ok with keeping some things between themselves and not to have to tell me all the details...
I do agree with the compersion aspect of it very much also.