I am the hinge and DH and I live together with our children and DC is long distance so I don't see him much. However, DH and I have discussed it and he knows I just can not put a hierarchy on feelings. DH is my primary or anchor or however you want to say it because our relationship is more entwined, we've been together longer and have a family together. I prefer contact every day so even if I don't see DC as often we text, skype, and IM every day.
While we as a poly family are in the closet in some ways because of jobs and such, in most ways we are not so the kids are always aware and actually like DC. So it's easier I think, that way because there's no worry about not saying or doing things around the kids. At least anything I'd do with DH!
Me: Late 30s pansexual poly.
DH: My husband of 19 yrs and father of 3 teen girls.
DC: LDR of +4 year