Originally Posted by El186
Nancyfore, I was simply replying to galagirls request as to what provision's were in place for his poly family, of which I am a part. I would want to stay because HE would be here....yes, I know he is not here....but I would want to be near where he was and he has said that if I should die that he would want me to be buried HERE in Germany for the exact same reason. It is NOT that I do not want his family to be provided for. I would just like to be provided for as well and I don't think that is unreasonable OR selfish. We all need to prepare for the future as best as possible. Most of the time that happens through spousal support. It seems like no matter what I say or do on here that there is someone to criticise me and tell me how horrible I am. I came here for help and I AM trying to resolve this. I realize that I am a selfish bitch, but I am trying to do something that NO ONE else that *I* know would even attempt. You may be used to it and it may come naturally to you, but it is not that way for everyone. So, excuse me if I am having a hard time fitting into YOUR world. It is starting more and more to sound like a place where only YOU and the ones "like" you are accepted. You are NO different from the very people that you criticise the most. I am confused....I obviously don't have it all figured out. Instead of telling me how selfish and horrible I am, how about giving me some advice on how I can accept the situation I am in? Others in here have been so kind. I NEED the advice and I sure as hell am not going to be able to find it in a mono group. I feel like it is an "us against them" attitude by many in here and I obviously am "them" although I have lived this life for 3 years and am STILL trying to make it work. Poly does not come naturally to me. I am beginning to wonder if it does for some and not for others. IDK. But I am TRYING to understand it and learn the concepts involved and YES that includes being less selfish.
Poly doesn't necessarily come "easy" for me.. BUT I don't take the stance that I will sit and complain and do nothing to help myself either.. I work at it and study and do what it takes to get to a reasonable answer.
ME and the ONES "LIKE" me??? Do you know me? Who is "LIKE" me? Do you know the others? Don't put me in a box and don't ASSume you know me or that others are "like" me.
Some here have given you advice and you don't seem to want to do anything about it. You also said you had a talk and things were better then come back and still complain. There are plenty of "online" business opportunities you could do to get an income.
BTW.. a little about me... RSD/CRPS patient.. I know all about chronic pain and what it does to the brain... AlSO, I was the single mom of 7 teenage girls and 2 preteen boys, after divorcing a hugely abusive person in which I had to flee, with kids, make a will, etc, etc... I worked a job 7 days a week to provide for us all... So I have been where you have been... You have options other than sitting in the wife's house and HOPING your taken care of...