While I was reading your first post, I was thinking, "What does any of this have to do with polyamory?" And now I've read your last post, and I feel that it's a good thing you and your fiancée talked and came to your realizations. Since you both want an open relationship with occasional, no-strings, purely recreational sex with other people that does not lead to actual loving relationships, you'd be better off looking into swinging, since (obviously) what you want is not poly. There are plenty of sites online that can help you find other swingers who are local to you, when you are ready. But I would watch the drinking, if I were you. Sounds like you let yourselves lose control fairly often, and this could lead to problems. Good luck!
Last edited by nycindie; 05-15-2013 at 10:36 PM.