Originally Posted by taytay85
My primary and I have had a rough road. It started before I moved from Washington state to California to be with him. We met on-line, dated long distance for about a year and the entire time discussed poly and how we were going to practice it.
Unfortunately he had already been seeing another woman and the relationship continued through me moving here. I became pregnant, it continued and ended when I had a miscarriage. I recognize now that whenever he contacted her it was when I was having a problem coping with pregnancy and really needed him. I only found out about the other relationship right before I had the miscarriage. The other woman had no idea I didn't know. We went to counseling for a brief time but was unrelated to his hidden relationship as I still hadn't found out about his other girlfriend.
He apologized yet stressed,( I am paraphrasing) that it was my fault because I wasn’t as progressed as he is in poly and I should have had better reactions. So he had to lie.
I have been accused of wanting monogamy, accused of trying to close our relationship until it is perfect and the new one is, I am playing head games.
Can you please make sense of this? I really appreciate any feedback I can get… I made a lot of sacrifices to be with him and I want to give this one last shot.
You do that. Give the poor guy "one last shot". Maybe he'll change. You'll never forgive yourself if you don't try. After all, you have such a good thing going, you want to make sure you don't throw it all away just because you have your period or one of those other irrational-female diseases.
Let us know how it goes, and say hi to "Rebecca" for me.