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Old 05-15-2013, 06:21 PM
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NutBusterX NutBusterX is offline
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Central California
Posts: 98

Originally Posted by leelee22 View Post

Because Iím mostly straight, Iím not looking for a true triad. I am looking for a ďvĒ. I would be very open to friendly communication with the woman at the other arm of the ďvĒ, and to spending occasional social time with the couple. But I donít want to be a coupleís tag-along sexual playmate!

What I WOULD like is to have a self-contained, emotionally UNRESTRICTED relationship with a male hinge (I donít care if his paramour is a man or a woman). Fully disclosed to his other partner, conducted in good faith, with the goal of not detracting in any way from their relationship.

Is this something that doesnít exist, or is not possible? This man (the womanís partner who I talked to on the phone) seemed to think that itís a totally unreasonable expectation. Is he right?
You want what you want. I don't think it's unreasonable. I don't think it's imaginary. I also believe it may be in the early stages of formation.

The logical deduction about filtering to any specific situation is, of course, that the time it takes to find this situation may be a little more, or some poly logarithm may prove this situation exists less, but i certainly don't think it's hopeless.

I don't see anything wrong with wanting what you want, unless it becomes an unhealthy obsession. Maybe your math tells you that {married poly guy=not going to tie you down} which could be a true statement, and therefore increases your chances of finding what or who you need. It could also though, be that {newly divorced single mono dad who promised his kids no housemates = not going to tie you down}

It's very very common for people taking baby steps to polyhood to have a narrow set of "allowable" love candidates. It's also very very common that those sets of "allowables" evolve over time.

There are days when I feel like I'd date a kangaroo with moles and a horn, so long as they were honest, reliable, loving, and had their shit together, lived close, and I didnt have to teach them the abc's of ethical nonmonogamy. It didn't start out that way though.
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