View Single Post
  #167  
Old 05-15-2013, 03:49 PM
nycindie's Avatar
nycindie nycindie is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 7,423
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by fuchka View Post
Haha, god. I did a complete overshare today at work. Had an out of town trip with a colleague, and on the way home she started chatting about her boyfriend. It was great til she asked me if I had a boyfriend...

I started off ok. I said "hmm. My lovelife is complex."

And then I tried to explain further...

Shit, this was so much simpler when it was just Ocean and Grotto. Now I seriously sound like a whore. Which is not a bad thing but also doesn't feel quite correct... I love the sex but it's really not about the sex for me (well, not always!) Maybe I'm a lovewhore. Or an intimacywhore.

I wish I had better words to say what I want to say about my romantic relationships. Though I think the issue was more that she didn't have the words for it. It was something she'd never come across before. Her first reaction was "well, that's not something you hear every day."

I like her, and I hope that I didn't belittle her (?) in some way. Like, make out as if I'm this special person and she's just ordinary. Don't think I did though.

Sometimes I wish I could just share this stuff and it would be an ordinary thing. Like talking about how many brothers and sisters you have.
I think it's easiest to keep it simple, saying something like, "There are a few important people in my life, and we love each other, but we're not exclusive or traditional." That's similar to how I'd say it. You don't have to go into long explanations unless asked for clarification.
__________________
The world opens up... when you do.

"Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me." ~Bryan Ferry
"Love and the self are one . . ." ~Leo Buscaglia "

An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/
Reply With Quote