From here it seems to me you're caught up in NRE (new relationship energy) with H, love, lust, hormones. Yes, it's been 7 months. NRE generally lasts 6-18 months, so could still be in play.
You say you wish she wasn't dictated to by her kids, husband and the demands of her job. It's OK to wish things, but when one is poly, respect for the demands of life that someone has with her primary is very important. If you wish you had a less attached gf (maybe single, maybe with another partner, but not married, no kids, for example), you could go get one!
I feel badly for her husband... is he getting any sex at all? Is she a "lesbian," or bi enough to meet his sexual needs? Will there be some searching on his part for a bi or straight partner now? Or is he mono and harboring resentment?
How does this dynamic work? Who sees/shags/dates whom and when? With a triad plus several dyads going on here, plus 4 kids including a newborn, this seems incredibly complicated, and calender work highly important.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
me: Mags, 59, living with:
miss pixi, 37