Originally Posted by WhatHappened
In a discussion about BDSM, this might be worth elaborating on. Perhaps as a warning of what to look out for and avoid? What went wrong.
oooh, you are right. I'm sorry.
Her mistress demanded the slave submit to her in all ways, socially, physically and financially even though the slave had children of her own to take care of. The slave was just a regular working woman--she did clerical work and struggled to make ends meet. The slave was not allowed to even purchase clothing for herself but ordered to buy things for the mistress. The slave paid all their travel expenses--for the mistress and whoever the mistress decided to bring along on the trips. The slave wasn't allowed to speak with anyone without the mistress's permission. Every now and then the slave and i would have lunch together but she would beg me not to tell anyone so she wouldn't get in trouble.
The slave gave until she had nothing left to give. We were all at a kink party one weekend and the slave had told the mistress she was sick. The mistress told her 'suck it up, buttercup' and the slave-who had been in and out of the hospital for 3 months at this juncture-had to hide in our room to take a short rest periodically throughout the evening, asking me to come wake her if the 'lady' called for her because she didn't want to get in trouble. She waited on this woman hand and foot and did nothing without permission. The mistress denied her permission to seek medical treatment. Slave gave so much of her money to make the mistress happy that the slave refused to go to the hospital again because she didn't have the money to pay the medical bills.
A few days after the party, the slave finally was so sick she had to go to the hospital. That day her 'Lady' posted on fetlife that her slave had asked to be released and she was now looking for a new slave. And, no, please don't ask the slave about it...it was too personal. A couple days later the slave died and that wretched woman deleted the ad for a new slave, posted loving pictures of the slave, and accepted condolences. Those few of us in whom the slave had confided were sickened by the callous behavior of the 'Lady' and by the hypocrisy of the same.
We felt we had let our friend down. That, as members of the community, we should have done something to save our friend's life. We should have insisted she go to the hospital. There was a date rapist known in our community and anytime his name came up, women were warned that he wasn't safe. Same thing with the scam artist who stole thousands of dollars from various people in the group.
The slave had such a deep=seated need to be controlled and to please that she gave past the point of what she should have/could give. But i lay the blame for the episode at the feet of the mistress who, imo, had the ethical responsibility to NOT misuse or abuse the nature of the slave for her own gain. She should have listened when the slave said she was too sick to go to a party. Slaves have needs but meeting the psychological needs don't include taking unfair advantage of someone whose basic nature is to serve and please others.
And to top it all off...the slave was always very careful to keep her 'extracurricular activities' from the knowledge of her children. That wretched woman attended the slave's memorial service and outed her to her children and family. Absolutey reprehensible, imo.
so, she did not die from bdsm gone awry...she died from neglect--on more than one front. I feel so guilty for not being more forceful in helping her.