And there it starts....
The next morning, MD and I messaged like crazy. Are you ok? Do you want to do that again? Damn your lips tasted good! You're making me crazy! I'm blushing! When can I see you again?.....and on it went. Her birthday was 2 days later, and we had already planned to hang out with mutual friends at a local brewery. We plotted how to sneak off in the bathroom to make out, and worried about friends being able to read our vibe. We made excuses to sneak in kisses several times those next 2 days before we actually got to hang out again. But we were clearly out of our damn minds, we probably messaged non-stop without more than an hour between communications for all those days. We didn't want to fall asleep!
Here is where I have to talk about her ex, her baby-daddy. He's a fucktard. Plain and simple. He is the kind of asshole that cheats on a pregnant lover, and then cheats on his girlfriend with his baby-mama and 3 other girls. He was a pill-head (although he says he's off them now), not being able to go 6 hours without snorting a pill. When he broke up with MD, he didn't just break up, he tortured her at work (they work together), called her a fucking bitch, made up stories about how crazy she is, etc. And they went back and forth for 5 years....him being sweet and charming and then emotionally abusive without warning. He also can go for weeks without seeing his daughter, or paying the $150/mo child support he is responsible for. And let me tell you, I have 5 kids, and MD's daughter Bug is the most delightful, joyful, put-a-smile-on-your-face child that I've ever met. This asshole doesn't deserve that precious daughter. Ugh.
Well, he started sniffing around on her birthday. Sent her flowers. Told her he wanted to beat the pills. That he needed her. That she was the best thing that had ever happened to him. That he wanted to be a better father than he had. And MD decided to give him another try. Because she loves him...because she's a caretaker...because she has a hard time believing she'll ever find anyone...because she wants a family to be a part of. I'm sure there are many reasons she decided to give him another chance that I can't begin to understand.
But really, I did understand. I hadn't seen his fucktardery in person before this, and so I gave him a pass. I can totally understand addiction. My parents were both addicts. I was the caretaker from a very early age. I identify in deep ways. So I told her I would back off if she was going to reunite. She asked me not too, said she didn't know what would happen and that fucktard was on a very short leash. I was deep in NRE, and we kept at it as often as we could....all the while she was lying and hiding from fucktard.
We planned an out of town trip for the end of the month. We went to a concert, danced like crazy, and went back to a posh hotel and fucked all night. It was amazing. At the end of the night, I was gushing about how amazing this felt, and that I didn't ever want it to end. Typical lovey-dovey, unrealistic shit. Drunk on wine and love. She promptly said-"It's not like this can ever be more than it is. We can't tell anyone." Well shit. I was deflated like a big balloon. I didn't mean I wanted to get married or take out a billboard. I was just talking about my feelings. Went to bed a little wounded that night. After we got back, she definitely stopped saying the hot and sexy stuff I was used to hearing. It was solid friendship texts about our days, etc. Finally I just said "I'm into you. I want to hang out and be with you. Nothing has changed for me. You just let me know what you want." The convo progressed, and it was clear to me she wanted to continue with her ex, and lying wasn't going to work anymore. So I broke it off and said I'd step back.....
franchescasc-33, bi female, likely monogomish formerly in triad relationship with:
FJ-36, married 15 yrs
MD-35, gf for 8 months
Currently dating SM, male, 40, monogamous