Thanks for the advice. the party is at my dads house, my youngest sister is the same age as my son, so its a joint thing.
I was really worried about hurt feelings of K. We have talked and to avoid drama with H's mom, who wont return H's calls on mothers day nor her recent texts, K has decide to stay at home. I hate having to live in this secret world but its probbably for the best for now and, H and I really appreciate K's feelings on avoiding the drama.
As for a five year plan, no its not that easy. i am a small town general practice lawyer. My reputation as a good lawyer brings in my clients, I dont advertise at all, never had to in the 13 years of practice. My practice is not very mobile, i cant take my clients with me to another state, if I move I would have to take a lesser paying job teaching or in the government or public sector, each would mean a loss of independance and income.
K has a problem with ex, he is the type to make an issue out of it and try and petition the courts for full custody. Being a southern state and the judges being conservative minded, I cant ask her to take the risk, so our plan is more like a 10 year plan.
We are here until all our children graduate from High School and go off to a university. Then we have looked at living in Florida Keys or in the islands. K is a speach pathologist and can find work anywhere, I will be looking to slow down my practice, and H is the stay at home one, who toys with working on a masters in counseling, maybe specializing in poly and other alternative lifestyle counseling, or may just tend the garden and plant flowers.
We will see.