Originally Posted by SNeacail
Set a time limit to re-evaluate, like once a year or every 6 months or so. Until that time limit is up no more discussions on that particular subject. This works in both your favor. You get a promise that she won't push things for that amount of time and you get a chance to actually see how things will work doing your way. At the end of that time period, you both can sit down and talk about what's working and what's not, you can change somethings, everything or nothing and move ahead until the next set time period. She knows that at the end of that time period she will have an opportunity for more compromises, even if they are small and nothing is set in stone for all eternity, but all know it won't be changing or trying to be changed from week to week.
I like the premise, but I'm going to say something like 13-17 years or once the kids are away at university. I don't want her ex involved in the rearing of our kids. I never did, and on a cooler head, I still don't. We can revisit it 10 years from now, and it's going to be the same thing. At least with my way, her ex gets to stay in their lives. Not as a second mother but as someone who loves them and cares for them. I could easily revert back to my authoritarian ways and say that she can't have any contact.