As far as graduation, if your son wants her there, there should be no issue on that front.
Bringing her to party when you know she was not invited might cause problems, though. If I do not invite someone to my home, I do not want them there, and I will ask them to leave. If you bring her, it may cause a scene. It is your son's graduation party, and the attention should be on him. It is a reason to celebrate, and I understand why you would want her there. Has your soon expressed interest in inviting her? If so, is it possible for him to ask the host? Truth is, you can have all the problems in the world with it, but unless your name is on that mortgage and you are paying the bills, you have to respect it or...
Another option is for you, H, and K to not attend the party, and I am sure you all are not willing to do that.
I believe I read that your father is not aware of your relationship with K or your polyamoury aside from run of the mill small town gossip, so how would he have even known to invite her, if he is the host? You said he is staying out of the relationship and your business. Perhaps you could ask if he minds if she comes?
Ry - Me. Panromantic demisexual with a history of polyamorist tendencies. Married to...
Matt (Hubby) - The once distant stranger that I complement beautifully. DH of 13 years and father of our four children.
Last edited by FullofLove1052; 05-14-2013 at 06:21 PM.