Thread: BDsm
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:29 AM
BoringGuy BoringGuy is offline
Join Date: Aug 2012
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
Um? I don't know, does that sound like what I said? Really confused by how you took that, honestly. I really think I qualified my statements about as much as humanly possible there. Obviously it's going to be different for different people (I actually used that phrase later in my post). I was just giving my best guess as to what a contract is LIKELY to mean to MOST people, which is something very different from a flogger or a butt plug. Ymmv and that's fine, I was never remotely trying to imply any sort of One True Way.

Right, but see, I think for most people (please note the two qualifying statements here -- that "I think" this to be the case, not that I know it as some absolute fact, and that I believe it applies to "most" people, not all people) a contract isn't about play. It's about a relationship and how you choose to structure it. And we're talking about contracts. So that's why I started talking about relationships.
I consider that a "play" contract because it isn't legally binding. If one person doesn't do what the contract says, do you take them to court to have it enforced?

None of that is meant to imply that people should get involved in scenarios that aren't right for them?? Again, really confused by the extrapolations you're making. Obviously it's a choice and you should only make it if you think it's right for you, I truly don't see how I might have implied that I thought otherwise.
Then in that case, the "contract" DOES function as a "prop", because if a person is doing something by choice because it is right for them, a contract is unnecessary. It was unclear whether that was part of your process of reasoning.
But, just like any relationship role (again, I am talking about relationships, not play -- I do get the distinction, and I get that some people can engage in BDSM or D/s just for play, and that's fine, I honestly 1,000% believe that's fine, but I'm not talking about that right now because we're talking about contracts, and I think that most people who get to the point of writing out and adhering to contracts are committing to a relationship style and not just to play), you're almost certainly not going to like it all the time. A person who's committed to being someone's slave isn't going to like being a slave all the time any more than a person who's committed to being someone's spouse is going to like being a spouse all the time.
I like being a spouse "all the time". Sometimes I get annoyed with my spouse, but i can honestly say that i don't have moments where i wish I wasn't married. Please don't say things like that because when I respond to them I feel as ridiculous as that sounds.


You seem to be getting way more upset than me or pollyanna have been so far, so it's kind of weird to see you saying people should lighten up
I'm not upset; you and pollyanna did not seem "upset". I am involved in a conversation where I am pointing out things I disagree with and why I disagree. I said there was "so much uptightness" about BDSM in general. That's not the same thing as saying you and pollyanna are "upset", and it doesn't mean I'm "upset", "more upset", etc.

Why do you have the right to a strong opinion, when this isn't actually something that you enjoy as more than play, and we're being uptight for having differing opinions, when we've built our lives and our loves around these concepts? Why is this topic less deserving of being taken seriously than, say, poly, that thing that we all expend so many words on every dang day, when in both cases it's about how we choose to love?
We all have the right to a "strong opinion". We do NOT have the right to dictate that our "strong opinion" applies to all people who do certain things in their relationships. You see, you are basically saying the same thing, that no one else has the right to speak for you, but out of the other side of your mouth you're saying that because you "live the lifestyle" and I "just play", that you have some authority to declare what it all means. Indeed, this topic is NOT any more or less "deserving" of being taken seriously than any other - which is exactly why I'm taking issue with use of language such as "those of us in the [whatever] lifestyle". People can "lighten up" and still take something seriously - ask any person "in the cancer lifestyle" and many of them will tell you that they have used humor to get through difficult times and still take their health and medical condition "seriously".

Come on Annabel. You're not stupid. You knew that's what I meant. You just wanted to bust my chops because it's, like, a thing.

Last edited by BoringGuy; 05-14-2013 at 05:32 AM.
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