Originally Posted by pollyanna
And--I never said or inferred that people not in the lifestyle are incapable of 'understanding it'. What I will say is that bdsm IS more than just kinky sex and there are many misconceptions about bdsm just like there are about lots and lots of things in the world, including polyamory.
BDSM *can* be just about kinky sex. Not everyone has to be "in the lifestyle". Not everyone considers polyamory a "lifestyle". You talk about misconceptions - there's one right there: that BDSM and polyamory are considered "lifestyles" by all who engage/share in certain activities, behaviours.