Thread: BDsm
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Old 05-14-2013, 05:00 AM
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AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Originally Posted by AnnabelMore View Post
I suppose some people might treat it more casually than others, but I would say that, for most, you're absolutely not "playing" any more at that point. You're making a serious commitment to each other. For some, it's probably as significant as a marriage contract would be.
Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
Are you basically saying that everyone who engages in some sort of consensual relationship power role-playing takes it so seriously? You are allowed to declare what those things mean to you, but do you seriously think that everything you said right there MUST apply to all people?
Um? I don't know, does that sound like what I said? Really confused by how you took that, honestly. I really think I qualified my statements about as much as humanly possible there. Obviously it's going to be different for different people (I actually used that phrase later in my post). I was just giving my best guess as to what a contract is LIKELY to mean to MOST people, which is something very different from a flogger or a butt plug. Ymmv and that's fine, I was never remotely trying to imply any sort of One True Way.

Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
And I didn't say all RELATIONSHIPS are fun all the time. I said that PLAY should be fun all the time. I still maintain that. If you are not enjoying what you are doing, stop, and go do something else. I don't have sex, go dancing, watch TV, and say, "I hate this. I wish I was doing something else". It's people's CHOICES to get involved in a consensual master/slave relationship. If you hate being dominated, don't become a slave. If you like it, become one.
Right, but see, I think for most people (please note the two qualifying statements here -- that "I think" this to be the case, not that I know it as some absolute fact, and that I believe it applies to "most" people, not all people) a contract isn't about play. It's about a relationship and how you choose to structure it. And we're talking about contracts. So that's why I started talking about relationships.

None of that is meant to imply that people should get involved in scenarios that aren't right for them?? Again, really confused by the extrapolations you're making. Obviously it's a choice and you should only make it if you think it's right for you, I truly don't see how I might have implied that I thought otherwise.

But, just like any relationship role (again, I am talking about relationships, not play -- I do get the distinction, and I get that some people can engage in BDSM or D/s just for play, and that's fine, I honestly 1,000% believe that's fine, but I'm not talking about that right now because we're talking about contracts, and I think that most people who get to the point of writing out and adhering to contracts are committing to a relationship style and not just to play), you're almost certainly not going to like it all the time. A person who's committed to being someone's slave isn't going to like being a slave all the time any more than a person who's committed to being someone's spouse is going to like being a spouse all the time.

Originally Posted by BoringGuy View Post
I wish people would lighten up about this. So much uptightness about such a first-world topic.
You seem to be getting way more upset than me or pollyanna have been so far, so it's kind of weird to see you saying people should lighten up?

Why do you have the right to a strong opinion, when this isn't actually something that you enjoy as more than play, and yet we're being uptight for having differing opinions, when we've built our lives and our loves around these concepts? Why is this topic less deserving of being taken seriously than, say, poly, that thing that we all expend so many words on every dang day, when in both cases it's about how we choose to love?
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.

Last edited by AnnabelMore; 05-14-2013 at 05:07 AM.
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