Originally Posted by BoringGuy
Wrong. You do not speak for "those of us in the lifestyle". You do not speak for anyone but YOU. I am repeating what I heard from OTHER people "in the lifestyle". This "our" and "those of us" when referring to people who practice, live, play, etc. BDSM is very patronizing and condescending, like "those of us not in the lifestyle" CANNOT POSSIBLY FATHOM the "lifestyle".
Also, people CAN practice or incorporate BDSM into their sex-lives as "play" and do not have to LIVE the LIFESTYLE. Just because you LIVE the LIFESTYLE does not make you some kind of ambassador or high-priestess. If God came down from Heaven and appointed you as some such authority, then someone failed to CC me when the memo was sent out.
You telling me how it is for "those in the lifestyle" is like someone trying to tell you about what it's like for "those of us who are poly".
Have your contract and your honor and your responsibility all you want. I'm happy for that, really I am. But do NOT presume to speak for anyone but yourself (and your submissives of course, since that is probably in the contract anyway).
wow...i feel this is somewhat unnecessarily vitriolic. I am merely expressing my opinion and experience as well as what I have discussed with others in the bdsm lifestyle and what I have observed. I never intended to be condescending and apologize if my response came off like that. Many people think (as I did years ago when I entered the bdsm realm) that bdsm is just about kinky sex. I actually know folks who have bdsm partners that they never engage sexually.
And I won't apologize for stressing a master's responsibility to protect and honor their slaves. If I had been MORE vocal and less of a coward about what a master's responsibility is and less of an ostrich, a dear friend of mine might still be alive.
And--I never said or inferred that people not in the lifestyle are incapable of 'understanding it'. What I will say is that bdsm IS more than just kinky sex and there are many misconceptions about bdsm just like there are about lots and lots of things in the world, including polyamory.