Today Mono decided in a feel good moment to stop by and visit with T at her work. He wanted to find out how she felt about their progression and ask if she was really interested in seeing where they go. She is. He is. It is.
I found out he did this as he was doing it as I was texting, calling and messaging to see if I could see him quickly before returning to work. He texted me and said he was with her. I hit the roof. All the paranoia and distrust came up. All the threat, fear... all came up over the afternoon.
This morning I had a glimmer of peace, hope and happiness and its gone again.
Yes folks. I am one of those poly posters that is losing their mind because their boyfriend is trying out poly. I can relate.... this is so fucked up. I feel like banging my head against a wall in the hopes I can just let it go and trust... have faith. What the hell is wrong with me. I should know that any connection he has to other's doesn't diminish ours yet the years of him telling me otherwise and my belief that he is different and that our love is different has fucked with my head. Its not different. Its the same 'ol same 'ol. I remain disappointed and right now; angry at the world.
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