Originally Posted by pollyanna
for those of us in the lifestyle, our relationships aren't play anymore than those of the 'vanilla' world are play or poly relationships are 'play'.
Wrong. You do not speak for "those of us in the lifestyle". You do not speak for anyone but YOU. I am repeating what I heard from OTHER people "in the lifestyle". This "our" and "those of us" when referring to people who practice, live, play, etc. BDSM is very patronizing and condescending, like "those of us not in the lifestyle" CANNOT POSSIBLY FATHOM the "lifestyle".
Also, people CAN practice or incorporate BDSM into their sex-lives as "play" and do not have to LIVE the LIFESTYLE. Just because you LIVE the LIFESTYLE does not make you some kind of ambassador or high-priestess. If God came down from Heaven and appointed you as some such authority, then someone failed to CC me when the memo was sent out.
You telling me how it is for "those in the lifestyle" is like someone trying to tell you about what it's like for "those of us who are poly".
Have your contract and your honor and your responsibility all you want. I'm happy for that, really I am. But do NOT presume to speak for anyone but yourself (and your submissives of course, since that is probably in the contract anyway).