Originally Posted by BoringGuy
I always thought of those "contracts" as part of the BDSM play-experience, a "prop" if you will... Just like restraints or butt-plugs or floggers or whatever else you do. It's supposed to be FUN for everyone, all the time, even when it looks like the sub is not enjoying themselves.
^^ i don't do all those things, just one of them, and it's more like a "kink" for me and not a D/s activity. But i know people, etc...
Yeah, of all the possible things that people can do together in D/s, it seems to me that a contract is least like a "prop". I suppose some people might treat it more casually than others, but I would say that, for most, you're absolutely not "playing" any more at that point. You're making a serious commitment to each other. For some, it's probably as significant as a marriage contract would be. And whether you're taking it casually or seriously, it almost certainly *won't* be fun all the time, what relationship is? But that doesn't mean it won't ultimately be fulfilling for all involved... big difference.
BG, it sounds like you're thinking of BDSM as mainly a sex thing? A contract is a form of power exchange, aka D/s, and while sex may well be involved, it's more a relationship style/orientation (depending on howe you think of it, it's likely different for different people) than something you whip out now and then to spice things up, imho.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
Last edited by AnnabelMore; 05-14-2013 at 04:23 AM.