Hi all, and thanks... I glad to hear I'm not being unreasonable, because what i'm asking for doesn't FEEL unreasonable to me.
Dagferi, yes, I want to be one arm of a v. Maybe that does make me "not really poly", but I don't think so. It's just practical for me, because i have limited time (single mom with high-pressure job). I don't think I could do more than one partner justice and give them proper attention, and I don't really crave more than one partner.
The other reason I want to be part of a v is that I was once married to a husband who had repeated affairs (probably 20+ different affairs). Neighbours, friends etc were constantly "revealing" them to me (often, taking wicked pleasure in my reaction). It was a shitty situation. I don't want to be cheated on and lied to ever again. I figure that if I seek out poly partners, then it's less likely that I'll wind up involved with that kind of person again.
and, BoringGuy, well... I was going to say something defensive (other than to remind you I DIDN'T seek out this couple -- they are complete strangers and they contacted me out of the blue) but, actually, to your point, if there were such a thing as male sex workers who offered their services to women (and why the heck aren't there???), I would hire one on a once-a week basis and just give up on trying to meet decent men for the rest of the summer. I can't find out why I only attract the exact kind of people I don't want to attract.
Anyway, glad to hear I'm not looking for something that doesn't exist. Hopefully I'll get better at spotting the players at an earlier and earlier stage.
Leelee, all alone.