We opened up our relationship 4 months ago. I am now with a woman who is a dear friend and I love her very much and my male primary partner is good with my relationship to her. In the beginning she talked about having a secondary then it turned into wanting a girlfriend. Pretty soon after we started dating she talked about how we are friends with benefits. I am having a really hard time with her not wanting to label what we are because I don't understand my role and expectations and it is hard to convey to my primary partner what we are doing. Since I am new to all of this, I was under the assumption that when you are with another person, you are very open and honest about what it is that you are to each other or what you need when you enter a non traditional relationship. When I talk to her about it, it just becomes this confusing vague conversation. She talks often about how "women like me" are always wanting to label relationships. I am straight up about asking these questions and am just not getting any answers. Is she playing around with me or does she just honestly not care about what we are?