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Old 05-13-2013, 12:23 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by El186 View Post
I hear everyone talking about having a meeting and talking about things....getting things out in the open and setting up rules...etc. She does not know that I want him to marry me. She has no idea that he said that he would...or that he has ALWAYS said that he would if it "came down to it". Does she need to know my "previous" intentions...or is that something better left unsaid. I often feel like while he has been honest with her to some degree that he has not told her "everything". She does not know ALL the things he has told me. He has told me that he has looked for me his entire life. That he believes that we have been together in past lives and will always be so. He told me that the greatest thing he had ever done in his life was finding me and bringing me here. He has told me that he loves me MORE than he loves her OR his kids. That I am and will always be his FIRST priority and that he feels guilty that he married her and did no wait for me.....and the list goes on. So sometimes I feel like she has agreed to something that she really knows little about. IS that deceitful to her? Or is it just part of being in a polyamorous relationship...that some things will be secret from the other? Is it ok not to tell her for the sake of peace?

Other than the time that we all got together and decided that they would no longer be sexually active, we have NEVER had a "meeting". All things are negotiated more or less by him. If I have a problem I tell him and he talks to her about it...and thus far it has worked fairly well. But honestly, I have NO idea what he told her in the beginning or WHAT she originally agreed to. There is a SLIGHT language barrier there as well. Not much, but sometimes, especially if she gets upset, she has a problem either speaking or understanding correctly. So that is part of the reason we have always left it up to him. Plus, he knows how to best talk to her to help her understand something. But honestly, she has always been, to my knowledge, a wonderful and caring woman, that has gone above and beyond to make me feel comfortable. If we did not share him...I would WANT her for a friend. But as it is...she just seems to DRIVE ME CRAZY! She is everywhere I go...every corner I turn she is there...everytime I get up to go to the bathroom she is there....every meal she is there....the ONLY time she is NOT there is when we are either holed up in our room or gone! And now she has started to come up to the room more often, telling him that she is jealous that we are up here. As long as we were up in the office it was ok...that used to be the case, but the office is under consruction, so we have had to be in our room more and more...and she does not like that. So it is not unusual for me to go to the bathroom and come back and find her in our room with her hand on her hip telling him something that she is not happy with...:/ It is making me CRAZY. OUR room is the only fucking space in the WHOLE house that is "mine". I just go NUTS when I see her in there. She will call us for supper and then if we are not there immediately she will come find us or call again...not giving us time to finish what we are doing. If we are having a fight she will come to the room to see what's wrong and to remind us to be quiet, because it upsets the kids. But SHE yells at THEM ALL DAY LONG! THAT drives me INSANE when she comes up in the middle of a disagreement. I feel like I have to leave "my own house" just to be able to argue with him. It is just SO hard.
Please stop obsessing about she and what she does. First think about who you are and what you want!
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