Originally Posted by LovingRadiance
Good topic, enjoying reading it.
Question on this one RP.
How do you define "repetitively" vs "one off".
It's mostly curiosity-as Maca and I have discussed this as length.
I had an ongoing affair with GG.
Having no knowledge that there were other options-I found it impossible to find my way through the emotions I have for both of them....
Not excusing or saying it's right. As everyone knows Maca and I have come to our terms about it.
I was just curious.
Sorry it took a bit to answer back. I see an affair of an ongoing, repetitive sort to be one where two people knowingly meet each other behind the back of one or both of their partners with the intent to engage in having sex or being sexually connected with one another. This would be what I would think you and GG did and Mono and the woman he had an affair with. I also think repetitive cheating with several people not ones partner to fall into this category... the intent or result perhaps in this being to have sex with many people behind a partners back.
One-offs would be something like going to a bar, getting drunk and going to someones house to fuck them without a partner knowing... or in terms of having a sexual attraction that one knows and in a moment of passion having sex with them behind a partners back. This is what I have done,... the latter of these. Well, I also had several sexually charged encounters with a roommate once that lived with my boyfriend and I.
The first is more damaging perhaps in that it is over time and becomes ingrained somehow perhaps as a way of coping somehow, not facing facts or not thinking that there are any options. The second is the kind of cheating that slams a person up against a wall with themselves so much so that they could never do it again the moment was so profound. Not to way the first is not profound, but just that it isn't enough to make the people stop.
Hope that makes sense... as I'm still thinking it all over for myself. This all in an attempt to sort out how any of this can be helpful to anyone.... please challenge me as I am not necessarily comfortable with what I just said.... it's a brainstorm of sorts.