Originally Posted by redpepper
I know my poly friends in order to talk about poly, get to know them as people and explore the possibility of moving that relationship further with some. Maybe my friend is moving that possibility further with the whole group? Maybe they are ready for that too? Apparently so...
I wanted to expand on this statement I made... I see my poly friends at the moment to be friends like the ones I have made on here. We discuss details about our lives, compare who we are with each other, agree and disagree, go a bit further in that we do things together that aren't poly, they are friends... a group of friends... I don't see them in the realm of sex. We talk about sex, but it's more in terms of standing side by side with each other and supporting each other in terms of the relationships that we have outside of our group (sometimes in it) and friendships.
I guess the difference to me is level of involvement maybe? I don't want to be involved that deeply with the group as a whole, but perhaps with individuals within it. There are some people going that I have talked to briefly, or have only just met... it seems rather odd to then engage them sexually when we were just hanging out at a potluck and talking about our kids.
Maybe if I had known that eventually it would come down to having sex with them I would of prepared myself differently? Gone to socialize with them in a different frame of mind perhaps? What will happen after? Will I feel like I am not apart of the group because they have reached a level of depth that I was not involved in (to me sex with those I know and care about can go no other way than deepen my connection to them)? Will I feel comfortable hanging out with them? Will I witness the downfall of our group or will it splinter? I have a lot of questions that make me anxious...