Have you tried yoga or reiki for your anxiety? They have helped others with that. Sounds like it's not an envy thing but mainly an anxiety thing. Anxiety disorder makes you "have" the anxiety and THEN you find something to fixate it on. Although, if the meds help, keep taking it. People on here are always talking about stigmas and judgments... I say don't give a fuck if other people don't like it if you're on drugs. Take the drug FOR YOU if it helps YOU. Don't take a drug or not take a drug just so the rest of the world doesn't judge you. Drugs are one of the greatest inventions of all time - right up there with food, water, shelter, and automobiles.
Viva la benzodiazepines and amphetamines.