Galagirl....thank you so much for that. Especially for taking the time to write all that out to try to help. It means a lot to me...and yes, it was a long vent....funny thing is I had to shorten it TWICE just to get it to post! I am not familar with using buckets or points as you were talking about. I will read the info from the website you gave me, but just skimming over it, I did not find anything about putting those things into buckets and/or assigning a point value. Is that something that you have figured out yourself? Or is there another place that I can look at to get a better idea of how to categorize things or assign a value?....some examples of peoples problems and how they used the "system" to sort things out.
LovingRadiance....thanks too. That is twice today that I have been called a cowgirl. I had to look thru all the definitions to find it. I may be....at this point in time, I am not too certain of anything. All I know is, that if I AM, I did not go into it intending to be. I really meant to make it work. But not ever having attempted anything like this before, I may have underestimated how difficult it could be and now find myself either unwilling or unable to make it work.
I guess if I am to depend on MYSELF for my OWN happiness and to do what I need to do to make that happen, then I need to take any response from him out of the picture. Basically telling myself to accept it the way it is, find a way within myself to "like" it or get out of it and start over. Am I understanding that correctly?