That was a lot.
I hope you feel better for the vent.
How about trying again now that you are a bit calmer to organize your thoughts into the buckets? Just... identify and sort into buckets?
Here are the 7 dimensions of wellness.
I am not going to ID all of them out of your post for you. I am just putting a few that resonated in there for examples, ok?
You could fill out the rest on paper for yourself to begin to get a handle on things.
my physical health
-- concern for aging, menopause
-- care in old age? age difference between you?
my mental health
-- stress, worries for future
-- lost my therapist, seeking new
-- healing from abusive husband (maybe not totally healed?)
my emotional health (processing feelings appropriately)
--yelling at the partner, anger
--sadness, missing family in the states
--huge blow up vent. how long was this stuffed down/in?
environmental health (psychological and physical environment)
-- loud with kids. Would like quieter living space. (physical space issue)
-- I live in "her" house. I have no space of "my own." (Psychological space issue)
--old age/health bills?
--cannot speak language. Lonely for other people, kinda "shut in" sounding
-- "inlaw" problems
-- struggling with polyship roles of each player, expectations of each player
-- ??? <---- glaringly absent. No examples of community worship, justice/volunteering to do for others in the community, creative outlets (dance, song, paint), body practices (yoga, hike, meditate), spiritual friendships to have "baring of the soul" conversations with, nothing! Are you bone dry? What gives you the joie de vivre? What feeds your soul?
After you have enough of them identified and organized, then you could go back and assign each a value and would it would take to solve.
What's easy to solve in in less than 1 mos? In 3 mos? 6 mos? 9 mos? 12 mos?
Do you have an two-fer things?
Like would a visit to your stateside family help give you points in the mental wellness bucket (away from noise of Europe family) and points in the social wellness bucket (alleviate missing relatives stateside)? If your finances allow -- you could arrange this ASAP.
Right now to me you sound like you don't feel "valued" and you want it to be demonstrated with a) most of the time spent with me, b) sex with me only c) follow through on some long term promises with me. (marriage, housing issue)
Right now you also sound like you want more "take control of my life" and like you feel it is out of your control and in disarray somehow.
Well... could take it one thing at a time and tend to your various wellness buckets so you can be at peace and ok in yourself.