It seems to me that what all this amounts to is acceptance of "each to their own" and respect of the views and comfort levels of those around us.
One might be poly and like to get their butt whupped (or vice versa) or one might be poly and like to experience/experiment with casual sex or one might be poly and prefer only missionary, in the dark, don't look at me sex or be poly and completely platonic about it (and anything in between).
Labels can give us definition and a sense of belonging, but labels can also hem us in and keep us from expressing ourselves to our fullest. They can make us question who we are and whether or not we are worthy as individuals. It is all a matter of perspective. Many people here found the label "polyamory" and thought "Oh thank (your choice of higher power). I am not alone/I am not weird/I am not a bad person. There are others like me," and grabbed onto that label for all they were worth to stabilize themselves in an often unstable world, not realizing that that label means different things to different people. Some view it as the strict definition, others view it as larger and more flexible. And in having our own view of the label, we can be confused/upset/offended/disturbed/shaken/frightened by another's wildly different view.
Perhaps, for me, the best perspective to have is that a label can help to explain (not define) a portion of who I am so that others can understand. There is no one label that can truly explain the whole of an individual and their situation, except perhaps "complicated." So when someone comes along and gives a different view or invites me to something that does not comfortably fit my own view of that label, I can just smile and shake my head and say "Not really my thing, but thanks for thinking of me." No judgement, no distaste, and something new to ponder so that I can understand myself a little better.
Anyway, just my two cents. Y'all can take it, leave it, or juggle it in your mind and see where the thoughts fall.