Originally Posted by Josie
I live with one of my partners and he doesn't always sleep well, and often he just wants to stay up late playing computer games. Do I enjoy him sleeping next me? Yes. Do I prefer it that way? Yes. Do I lose sleep over it? No.
It is unhealthy in any relationship to not be able to be away from your partner. If possible I would suggest seeing someone about it. I know that's difficult where you with the language barrier, but it's possible (especially as some people are happy to do it via Skype or something similar). I think before you can figure out how to be with him, you probably need to learn how to be with YOURSELF. Learn to function on your own and not need to always be with someone, you never know, if you can learn to do that, the whole situation might seem more amenable to you.
I wish you luck.
I don't think it's a true comparison--it's very different when your SO is with someone else. I am not saying the reaction wasn't a bit over the top but sometimes sharing is very painful--when I embarked on this folly with dh and his former, I had just had surgery and he was unavailable to me when I felt I needed him because he was with 'HER'.
I do agree with the fact the you must be happy with yourself before you can be happy with someone else. Leaving a 30 year relationship is HUGE and you didn't have any time to rebound before you entered into this situation. I think there has to be some deep emotional dreck you need to work through that doesn't concern your new family. And I'm sure you will.
And let me add this...not to be cruel at all because you and I are the same age. Is the age difference a problem? Coz I think I would not have much in common with someone 20 years my junior and when you are 70 he will only be 50. I don't want people thinking my partner is my son. You are both certainly at very different stages of life.