Originally Posted by monkeystyle
Out of all of your relationships, I think the one with PN is most interesting to me. Not because he's your husband, but because of the apparent stable nature of that relationship which ultimately drifted into 'friends only', parenting only, etc. From your writings earlier in this blog, he struck me as a fairly buddhistic, calm oriented fellow who avoids demonstrating outward passion in general. Which says 'opposite' of you.
Was there ever any passion? Or was he simply there at a time when he fit your wants, and gradually those wants changed into what others had? I am truly curious, and trying to understand the dynamics a little better.
PN came into my life 15 years ago, after I had identified for years as a lesbian and having been married to a woman. He and my wife tried out a non-monogamous relationship but she was not into it and was very much and monogamous lesbian. When our marriage ended PN and I became closer and eventually married, had a child, bought a house etc. I knew he was the man to do this with somehow. He has always been a solid reliable man with very deep emotions and values. I admire him greatly. He is, by far, the man I admire most in my life besides my father.
We had passion at the beginning of our relationship and at various times during out relationship. It comes and goes. As is the case with most marriages I think. Who knows if it will come around again. It might or it might not. These things aren't usually helped by force and we both recognize that. Its better to go with the flow and see what happens.