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Old 05-11-2013, 05:56 PM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,580

Originally Posted by BigGuy View Post
2. Controlling others actions to manage your insecurities is generally not a good idea.

3. Jealousy is either a phobic response or it is a warning that something is wrong with the relatiinship. Only you can determine which it is. If it is phobic, then you must decide if you want fear to control your relationship. If you were afraid of flying, would you make your SO always take the bus?
BigGuy, I read through this whole host of responses to the issue at hand (well, I did skip past a couple of posts) and this very brief synopsis addressed the situation perfectly.

The idea that people should restrict their behavior or take actions in service to someones insecurity is just instating a terrible rule instead of addressing the actual problem. Our partners should not have to bear the cost of our shortcomings.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent
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