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Old 01-18-2010, 06:33 PM
NeonKaos NeonKaos is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: new england
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSteve View Post
My wife has become open to allowing someone else into our relationship and I've begun really looking for that "special someone" ... or trying to recapture the muse that got away

At the risk of sounding repetitive, this is a pet-peeve of mine.


Quote:
Originally Posted by MrSteve View Post

A couple things that occurred to me over time that are a bit unrealistic for a typical marriage are:

1) It's really expecting a lot of a partner to be able to support most of ones interests in a relationship (i.e. me and my wife work well together in terms of the home and children but don't share a lot of common interests outside that).

and

2) If you truly care about someone (which should be ideal in a marriage) then placing unnecessary chains or impediments on the person is only limiting and doesn't improve the quality of life for a partner.
If these two items in fact hold true for you, I wish you wouldn't think in terms of "allowing someone else into [y]our relationship" with your wife.


That is not what it is all about. "It", meaning "poly" (and I don't need to hear "there is no one right way to "do" poly" and/or "my poly is not your poly") is not about "adding" people to your existing relationships. It's about adding RELATIONSHIPS to YOUR life. Yes, they all impact on each other in certain ways. But "adding someone to a relationship" smacks of accessorizing and assigns prescriptions to the "new" person before they even enter on to the scene.

Last edited by NeonKaos; 01-18-2010 at 06:36 PM.
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