Originally Posted by AZtriad
Sorry its been a while. kinda been busy. but i have talked to him about opening up and maybe me getting a gf so i can get what i want. but i know what i really want is her.
this is her (an mine) first relationship with a girl and we dont really know how to go about things. kinda weird.
but there has been some postive things in the last couple days. we were flirting back and forth which made me feel really good. and we are going on a trip (maybe in a couple weeks??) and its just me and her overnight out of town. we are both really excited. so im kinda feeling a bit more loving.
as far as he goes. he does not text her while we are having sex. usually we will say ok say goodnight to her and we both will. and the same with me.
the nights that they get to have their date night, and "alone" time. i do not text either of them. that is their time to have alone. and i respect that.
as far as him being a jokester. its always been that way even when we were mono. he would screw around with me. i think i sometimes i take things seriously. and since we have our gf i ask for it more and take it to heart alittle more.
i am a very very sensitive and emotional person. i ask for sex he says no and i cry. that is something that i am REALLY working on. trying not to be so sensitive and emotional. but even though i didnt get what i wanted. he still held me and cuddled with me, and that was way way more important.
Good for you for asking for sex but being comforted with cuddles. But I still think he should be sexing you up just as often as he was pre-gf. This is a boundary many people have when their primary is in NRE. God knows, I am such a horny person, if I had less of my usual quota of sex, I would be quite upset, and make my wishes known in no uncertain terms! If a partner was having so much sex with their new person, they had no desire, urge, lust, energy, left for me, I would probably point out they weren't handling poly well and better take a step back with new person to see to my needs.
BTW, I quoted you with paragraph breaks, since it's hard to read your walls of text. Would you please break your posts up like that? You might get more responses.
Love withers under constraint; its very essence is liberty. It is compatible neither with envy, jealousy or fear. It is there most pure, perfect and unlimited when its votaries live in confidence, equality and unreserve. -- Shelley
Mags (poly, F, 61) loving miss pixi (poly, F, 39) since January 2009, living together since 2013
Punk, 42, ex bf, manchild. I've been Punk'd!
"Master," (mono, 34), miss pixi's Dom for 2 years