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Old 05-10-2013, 02:36 AM
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Marcus Marcus is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Richardson, TX
Posts: 1,328

Originally Posted by BigGuy View Post
If the relationship is not solid, then adding more people will not fix it.

If the relationship is solid, then adding people can enrich your life as no one can be all things to another.
As another perspective; I absolutely disagree with this well known tradition. I've heard it many times but it never makes any sense to me. It is most likely related to how I go about my relationships. That is, I am not in a "couple seeking an addition" kind of situation. I suppose in that kind of setup making sure the relationship is solid before adding someone else to it would make sense... but that's an approach to relating that I don't practice.

In my world, I know I am ready to have a relationship if I feel like I'm healthy enough to not irrevocably damage a new partner with my insanity and if I have at least a little bit of time to devote to them. Since IV and I don't date people as a team it is not a requirement that she and I be doing well for me to have/find other partners.

If romance is a group sport for you then by all means, live by the quoted group-think. If you date as an individual, then maybe your guidelines should be centered on *you*.
Independent (Anarchist) Non-Monogamy

Me: male, 40, straight, single
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