Originally Posted by StitchwitchD
Being honest and open isn't just about not lying. If anything, the hard part of being honest is in trying to figure out how and when to bring up something that is awkward, will make someone uncomfortable.
Yes - this is an excellent point and something that doesn't get talked enough about.
When any relationship is new (and 'new' I've seen last years !) everyone is putting on their best face and too often keeping little parts of their deeper selves kind of under wraps because of fear of tarnishing whatever image they constructed that seemed to work well so far. Kind of the old "if it ain't broke - don't fix it" syndrome. But in relationships this isn't such good philosophy because eventually it will 'break'. When it does it can be difficult or impossible to fix !
Kind of like little cracks in a dam. Better to fix them as they surface lest the whole dam blow out at once !
This is one reason we always advocated to our kids that they live full time with someone for a MINIMUM of a year before even considering marriage or other formal commitment. Nothing like living with all the day to day stressors and expectations to expose those painted over cracks.