Geez, Leelee, it all sounds like more work than it is worth, to be honest. If he's a wuss and kowtows to someone who has control of their relationship, and she thinks you're just a whore who is beneath her, do you actually think you will get what you want and gain any respect for your boundaries? Why even bother meeting? I still think it's a good idea to clearly delineate what YOU will and will not accept as you go forward in any relationship, but the dynamic you have with him seems so disappointing and, really, not worth the effort you're making. Wishy-washy ineffectual men... blarghh!
The world opens up... when you do.
Oh, oh, can't you see? Love is the drug for me. ~Bryan Ferry
"Love is that condition in which another person's happiness is essential to your own." ~Robert Heinlein