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Old 05-09-2013, 04:16 PM
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Natja Natja is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 836

Yikes! I am a wee bit confused, is this the same bloke who you were with the last time you posted or someone new?

Polyandry, one woman with more than one husband basically.

I am wondering if this was how it was all dictated to you in a sort of 'I vill control your Liff' sort of way? In which case, I can see why you would be hacked off, since he doesn't seem to be allowing you any control in what you want, also he is dictating the kind of relationship configuration he wants, regardless of what you want.
It sounds like a man with one of those 'hotwife' fetishes, which is ok in itself, except, perhaps you don't want to be Mrs. Hotwife? Perhaps you would prefer to have all your sexual moments private without an audience to entertain?

You have said you are bisexual, what if you fall for a woman and not a man, would that spoil his ultimate plan for your future?

As for poly groups usually having a marriage or two, this is often because the Poly comes after the marriage, personally I am not in favour of legal marriage because I do believe it creates hierarchy and I would not want to enforce or create hierarchy by getting legally married (that is not to say I don't want a wedding and a commitment because I do, very much so, I would just rather not be legal).

But I am me and I am non traditional in so many ways so....what do you really want? Do you want all the bells and whistles that comes from being married? Taking your new husbands name and having things addressed to Mr&Mrs Smith? Is that a very strong desire? And if you get this desire, how will you feel if you do fall in love with husband 2, will you feel a bit guilty that you can't be called Mrs. Jones? (or you can but it will be a personal thing, not legal because you are still Mrs. Smith.
You can change your name legally to Mrs. Smith-Jones but then, what if that is an entirely different name from your children, would you feel bad about that?
Not being legally married and keeping your own names at least gives everyone the level playing field, Mr. Smith is not more important, socially, legally or religiously than Mr. Jones. If you had a (non legal) ceremony with Mr. Smith and another with Mr. Jones than there will never be a point where someone says 'Your real husband' and crushes the happiness of the other. Also, in most States there is no such thing as common law marriage and so, you cannot be accused of doing anything illegal. So, that is my take on it, I am sure others will have different opinions to myself too so....look at things from all sides and figure out what is truly important for you to be happy.

Good luck,
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