Originally Posted by Magdlyn
Hey, if you've got boundaries, you've got boundaries.
I would also be uncomfortable with not getting to meet one of my partner's OSOs. For me, jealousy is reduced to nothing once I am in the same space with their partner, even if it's only a time or two. Every time I've made the effort to meet a metamour, any jealousy immediately dissolves, and compersion results.
I don't know why your wife would feel contempt for you for wanting to at least briefly meet her new bf. I can understand why he'd be scared, god knows we read that here a lot, where a new partner is too scared to meet the primary. But, beware. It doesn't speak well for her bf.
Meeting a new partner is a boundary many of us have. I'd feel sick if one of my partners had another partner who refused to meet me, just for an hour or two!
This is EXACTLY how I feel. I just want to be comfortable with him. The unknown drives me nuts. I think the unknown is what breeds so much fear and doubt.
As for the contempt thing, I didn't mean that she would feel contempt for me wanting to meet him. I meant that if I asked her to call off the relationship because I am not able to cope with it, while I think she would do it, she would always be contemptuous of me for it.
Dagferi, I am very aware of how uncomfortable that might be for him. On the flip side, does he not realize how uncomfortable I might be about my wife going off with someone who is a total stranger to me?