Thanks, Natja and NyCindie.
Spot-on about the "permission" comments. This guy is even more shy than me and just as unassertive. I think he tends to fall back on "GF won't let me" when he really means "I'm afraid to ask her"; I shouldn't put up with that.
She is unlikely to accept a face-to-face meeting (she thinks I'm too far beneath her -- this woman thinks I am a whore -- for no good reason, I might add; this is not a relationship that grew out of a concealed affair, they were open when I met him). I think ex-BF would reject the whole proposal if he thought he had to convince her to meet me. So I will have to ponder that one. But all the rest of the changes make very good sense
Will let you know how it goes...
Leelee, all alone.